Someone who is no longer in my life told me his definition of the word "intimacy" once. He said, "Intimacy is swapping body fluids." He was very serious about it, as I asked him if he were joking.
I immediately took umbrage at his very sincere albeit ignorant remark. Why? Because isn't swapping body fluids something that happens during rape? And during a sexual encounter between two strangers? Between a hooker and a john? Was the man telling me I was nothing more than a stranger to him? A prostitute? Was that how he saw an intimate relationship between two people who professed to know and love each other? Was my body all he really cared about? His words made me feel dirty.
I don't view intimacy (sexual and otherwise) that way at all. In fact, although my character Boone is a midnight cowboy, I gave him the ability to perceive intimacy in the same way I do--a profoundly dignified, even sacred, way. That doesn't mean neither of us can or should be allowed to enjoy it or get the urge to go crazy under the spell of pheromones. But, when the priest asked him if he were sorry about his career in carnal knowledge, Boone told him, "No. I make women happy. Why is that a bad thing?"
Boone likes to make women happy. And he has the ability to make them ecstatically happy. He also has the ability to leave them feeling empowered as they return to their busy lives. Empowered by his acknowledgment, his appreciation, his sense of awe. I'll come back to this shortly.
Boone doesn't go about making women happy the same way as any other prostitute. Sure, he does all the things his clients desire and satisfies all their sexual fantasies. He makes good money at it too. He shares something with Christine during a scene in The Last Solo Roller that reveals he and his customers get far more out of the experience than that, however.
That is, he values the dignity of his partner. She's more than a body covered with erogenous zones and possessing organs that become aroused and may or may not experience the fullness of orgasmic ecstasy. She has emotions as well as a sense of self-worth, a mind, a spirit, a soul. An intellect and unique individuality. Loveliness that isn't just skin-deep.
Boone strives to achieve intercourse with all his clients' many facets. He strives to learn all he can about their deep dark secrets. To him, intimacy involves the care and nurturance of those deep dark secrets--our private longings that, in their most primordial form, amount to the acknowledgment of our existence, an appreciation of our singularity, a sense of awe at our inner beauty and sanctity. When our lover cares for and nurtures these things, we can be truly happy.
Only when intimacy like this fuels a sexual relationship does the sex itself have any meaning. And sex must have meaning in order to be worth doing. Like Boone innocently asked the priest, "I make women happy. Why is that a bad thing?"
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