Does that mean I know how to do romance? I have to admit I have a very romantic streak. You can't miss it when you read my novels. I am currently not in a relationship and not sure I ever want to be again after the last one, but I'll hold out hope that I am one day willing to give romance a try again. As I wrote in my last blog, I know what I don't want. That leaves me with a pretty good idea what I do.
My 15-year-old grandson knows what that is. "Will Boone!" Hell, yeah. What woman wouldn't want that stud-muffin? He's got all the other good qualities I have only been able to dream of too. Unfortunately, I have no idea if there is such a living breathing personification of masculine perfection anywhere in the world. Like a doppelgänger. I wish we could take our imaginations and create tangible reality with them. Like cloning. Wouldn't that be grand?
Although I'm deeply immersed in my pretend reality right now, I have an article at the ready on my Gmail to summon as soon as I'm ready to take the plunge into a real-life romance with a man somewhat similar to Will. If anything, he'll need to be tall. And he shouldn't need to use the little blue pill in the bedroom. For sure, however, he'll have to have some of those other good qualities that make Will the loveable guy that I've described in my stories.
The article in www.forbes.com is written by Mark Travers (a guy!!) and dated November 14, 2024. The title is 4 Signs You are Actually Ready to Love Again, By A Psychologist". Hopefully, the psychologist (Mark) is an expert in romance, right? He's cute, that's for sure.
Okay, let's check these four signs out.
#1: You're driven by the right intentions. I suppose this means that you shouldn't jump into a new romance right after getting out of one. It's been a year and a half. I think I'm good here. And, don't jump into one if you're afraid of being alone. Naw, I love my solitary life so I'm good here too. Also, don't jump into one if people are pestering you. If that includes friend requests from "single guys" and "widowers" around my age, don't worry. I delete 'em the minute they show up.
The right intentions include a desire to grow, to share a life with someone else in mutual giving, to develop a "profound, fulfilling bond", and to partner up in order to advance goals. These are very positive and empowering reasons to want to get into a romantic relationship. Even if only one applies, that's better than none.
#2: You understand yourself deeply. I'm an INFJ. Or INFP. They say J's and P's are different animals, but I disagree. I believe the questions on the test leave a little wiggle room for overlapping. There's a little E in the mix too. I guess you can't be an extrovert who likes to be alone. But an introvert can behave like an extrovert as long as we get to recharge. This sign raises the question of what personality type compliments mine? Googling that, I find the ENFP and ENTP are most compatible. Can you see me at the country-western bar, cozied up to my Corona, and asking the guy who sits down next to me, "What's your Myers-Briggs type?" Lol
#3: You know what you're looking for. I already dealt with this in the last post. I know exactly what I don't want and was able to discern what I do from that. Realistically. After all, Will Boone is a figment of my colorful imagination. Mark the romantic psychologist goes on to say that we need to understand our needs, values, and expectations as well as how to communicate them to a prospective romantic partner. In other words, we need to pay attention to our feelings as we get to know him (or her), notice if our values are being reflected back, ascertain if the two of us are on the same page in terms of intimacy and supportiveness, and, finally, share a willingness to communicate honestly and openly. Don't forget these four requirements. If you don't apply them, you are going to get stuck. I know.
#4: You are healing and open to the dating process. Shucks, this is where I'm kinda stuck. Those old wounds still bug me now and again. I'm simply not sure if I'm ready yet to trust anyone. They say you shouldn't look for a romantic partner in a bar. They'll just try to scam you or jump your bones (not that I don't want that). You should also avoid dating sites online that cater to weirdos who can't be trusted. However, I don't want to bump into a potential romantic partner in a church either. They might not approve of my writing genre and I'll be damned if I can't be spicy.
What to do? It's a dilemma.
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